lesson learned

It’s been some rough-ups-and-downs-y months for me, mainly because it’s senior year and I have to adjust with my new friends (but they are really kind and friendly so thanks for making it easier) and the constant and unending tutoring and of course mid-term test. However I learned few things—the hard way—and I’d like to post it in here. Not because I am referring to something or someone, just because I can and it’s one of my outlets in said life.

1. First of all, people change. As Heraclitus said, 

“the only constant thing in life is the change itself”. 

Here I would state that the world is revolving, there are changes that happen in mother earth every single second, so that is perfectly fine that people, too, change. It’s vivid, unavoidable, and it is in our nature. I have gone through some profound thinking while I was at shower (every deep thoughts are always born when you are having shower right?) and I can say that we wouldn’t realize it at the first place, that people will change and it is the only constant thing about them. And afterwards we will feel disappointments because we aren’t ready to face it, or maybe we don’t know, or maybe we did know, but we didn’t really know what it meant, until it slaps us right in the face. Richard Marcinko once said,  

“Change hurts. It makes people insecure, confused, and angry. People want things to be the same as they've always been, because that makes life easier. But, if you're a leader, you can't let your people hang on to the past”, and this leads us to point 2.

2. You can’t depend your happiness on someone else, because they will let you down. How happy they might have made you, or how much you wanted them to be around you at all times, do not lean your happiness on someone else. They will crush you down, disappoint you, and—maybe—you would have to find someone else who will make you happy (only to get you hurt again even more). 

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere" --Francois de la Rochefoucauld. 

So in this point, I’d say just seek happiness in you, or make happiness on your own, doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy for someone else, they can also be your contributing factors of your happiness—reasons to be happy, but not sole reason. And do not rely on anybody else but yourself. It might be cliché, but it is true, though. Learn to realize that however some people might be there for you, this is your life and their lives don’t revolve around yours.

3. It is okay to talk up about your problems, and it’s okay to be vulnerable at times. Of course it’s not similar to bragging about your problems, or being a drama queen, but you can talk about your problems without being an attention seeker or said drama queen. By that, you also have to be a good listener—because I’m also a sole believer of give and take, what you give is what you’ll get. Sometimes, some people don’t need advices, or solutions in how they would solve or get out of their problems, sometimes they need a good listener who will comfort them—not by saying that everything’s gonna be okay because at most times when you say that everything’s gonna be okay, it’s not—but just be there for them. I think by opening up to yourself some more, will liberate you and release some grudges or wraths—that if you don’t try to cope with, will be self-destructive, and believe me you’d never want to be in this point of life where you are full of self-loathe.

4. In this case if you haven’t found a good listener—poor you. I’d say find some outlets. I think writing is a good outlet for me, so is singing—even if I don’t know how to, or listening to music or make one, or paint or do some sport. Anything—you’d have to figure it out on your own. To me I really like writing, and talking to myself sometimes.

I guess that is all—for now, all that I can come up with. Not all of them would apply to everyone, anyway. Just find anything that might suit you, hehe. And if you’d like to add anything, you are most welcomed to; just drop it in the comment box below.