You can't ignore my techno (or goals?)

It's a fine Sunday. Despite that it was very hot in the afternoon.
I'm making a CD for Andrea (I hope she'll like it.) while listening to Oasis' Wonderwall. Thank you Thevetia for introducing me to this song. I really love it.

Tomorrow I will have an exam, for International Program's Students. I have studied 2 or 3 days ago, but I am now underestimating it by not studying. It was just another a-day-before-exam.
As the exam will be held, I am re-thinking about my objectives for my really own future. Yes, it's me again.

I read Acha's blog, saying about what she wants to be in the future, about her uncertainties. And to be honest, I have those uncertainties and insecurities, too.

You know, when you feel like your parents are so precious to you, so you want to give something in return for them, make them happy? And at the time, your parents were asking you about your goals, in the future-which you were too young to understand all the adult's life, and you just stick with your parents, all of their saying. And then you and your parents felt like your future goals were determined, then your parents started telling people when people asked about what do you want to be in the future; they told people about something they want you to do in the future. At that time, you could say; Yes, that's what I want for my future; without knowing the burden that may caused because you have said it, without knowing what it really means.

But as you grow older, you know a lot of people, you also get to know many different occupations; many different jobs. And then you started to have a role model; in which you want to be like your role model. You started to do what you really really enjoy; sometimes you're also doing what your role model does. Time flies as your objectives changed almost every current of time. Afterward, you felt like you have mastered that-something you really really enjoy, and then you have this unstoppable passion for keep doing that, and then you felt like you want to do it for your future, and marked it as your objective.

When your parents asking about what you want to be, you felt uncertain. How am I gonna answer this? I used to say that I want to be someone that they have advised to me, but I have this interest that has NO relevance with it. You decided to answer with what you want-for the moment. Your parents said, that's not what we have advised to you, We don't think it is a beneficial job; or precious job. Get over it.

You also felt unsure if that-something you really enjoy at the moment, won't change, because there's so many possibilities. Your insecurities and uncertainties boosts.

And that is the beginning of it. You keep asking yourself, what do I wanna be in the future? Without realizing it, you have no objectives to motivates you; or keeps you move on. Then, you started slack around. Your grades, they're falling and tumbling down. You don't know how long you can hold it; with such insecurities and uncertainties, but when you decided to speak up what are your objectives in the future, your hesitancy of that unchanging-future-or-goals, raises the head.

What you can do, right now, is only keep doing what you do. And this question always pops in your head; who knows what can happen?

Get out of my dreams, and get into my car